More Than Conquerers

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39

Sometimes, in the strangest of places and times, I reflect on what has happened in my life. This was true yesterday on the way home from church. I don't know why I started looking back, but that act of looking in the rear-view mirror has stuck with me for a good 24 hours now.

If I looked at this chronologically, I would have to say that 18 and a half years ago I got married, and seven and half years ago, that marriage ended, but not without having two boys, and definitely not without scars. To this day I cannot look my ex-husband in the eyes without feeling uneasiness and fear: fear of being yelled at, fear of being hit, fear of being abused in so many ways. Forgiving him is an almost daily occurance. I will say this: forgiveness should never make the forgiver a doormat, and its not a blank check for the forgivee to do whatever he wanted....again....and again....and again. I forgive him [daily] so I won't be held hostage by feelings and fears. Forgiveness is up to me, and frankly, only through Jesus Christ; repentance is up to the ex, and so far, that hasn't happened.

Eighteen years ago, I gave birth to a son. When he was just 17 days old, he would refuse to be comforted, acting like he was uncomfortable in his own skin. As he grew older, I noticed he was overly fascinated by whirling ceiling fans and obsessively placing toys in orderly lines -- but not playing with them. I learned, through Sam, to trust my mother's instinct: he was diagnosed with ADHD at age four, seizures at age six and a few months later, with high functioning autism. This is what having a child with autism means: You constantly fight battles that parents of typically-developed kids battle, but with twists. "Puberty" takes on a whole other level of fears, doubts and interestingly sick conversations. Sex ed? With a kid who, if I talk about gardening, makes him want to go plant a tree? With a kid who, if I talk about zoos, will want to go to a zoo? Having a child with autism means constantly grieving for the kid he could have been while, at the same time, celebrating accomplishments and milestones that typically-developing kids' parents merely acknowledge with a nodding of the head. Having a child who was diagnosed with autism 12 years ago means for the last 12 years you communicate and interact with his teachers on astounding levels, challenging them to challenge him; putting goals in his IEP for things like counting money, making change, acting appropriately in certain social situations -- only to have to raise the white flag of surrender when he is 18 to declare him incompetent, so you, the woman who spent 30 hours in labor with said child, can legally become his guardian to ensure he will make the right decisions regarding his healthcare, his education, his finances, his life.

People sometimes tell me, "God wouldn't give you a special child if He didn't think you were a special parent." Well I must be pretty special: four children, one with autism, one with severe ADHD, one with diabetes, and a two year old. Precocious two year olds are their own breed with their own special needs. So, while I politely smile and say "I guess" to those people, inside I'm screaming "HOGWASH!" to them. God has used these children to teach me, not the other way around. I am blessed by them; I hope and pray I am a blessing to them.

God has blessed me with a second (and final, last marriage) to my best friend and soul mate. This is also his second marriage too. God has used this second-marriage-for-both-of-us to give us opportunities to learn from past mistakes. Communication between the two of us is extremely valuable because neither of us had good communication in our first marriages.

When I look back on the last years, I am in awe at how God's hand has guided this ship of my life. I believe the night that my ex told me to choose between Jesus and him -- that was a watershed moment in my walk of faith as a believer married to an unbeliever. I chose Jesus -- and the ex walked out. I believe that when I chose Jesus, Jesus has honored and blessed that with the knowledge that the Romans 8 passage provides. Nothing can separate us from the Love of Christ. Not divorce, not abuse, not autism, not fibromyalgia, not migraines, not the death of a parent.

We become more than conquerers when we hold up the Banner of Christ and plant it on the firm soil of a rock-solid faith. We become more than conquerers by telling the storms of our lives how BIG our God is -- not by giving in to Satan's whispers that our storms are too big for our God. We become more than conquerers by having Christ, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Lion of Judah, fight our battles, like the passage from 2 Chronicles 20:17 states: "You do not have to fight this battle. Position yourselves, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord. He is with you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Tomorrow, go out to face them, for the Lord is with you."

In looking back, I praise God for hemming me in behind and before. In looking forward to what is in store for me and mine, I know, based on God's faithfulness in our past, that He will be faithful in the future. And surely, tomorrow, I will go out to face anything that God has in store, for the Lord is with me.

Praises to His name.

(C) 2012 Terrie McKee

Do Not Lose Heart: A Devotional of Chronic Pain

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." [2nd Corinthians 4:16-20]

"Take two aspirin and call me in the morning." This commercial little mantra has often been spoken as a way of sympathy for people who are in physical pain. For people who suffer day in and day out with chronic pain, however, such trite comments hurt.

I have suffered from migraines and hypoglycemia since I was six years old. Two herniated discs that called for two major back surgeries, a bulging disc, intense muscle spasms and degenerative disc disease, and severe osteoarthritis in my left knee and all throughout my spinal column -- all that plus fibromyalgia and irritable bowel syndrome keep me more than humble. Physical issues make everyday life just plain hard. I pray sometimes for God to heal me -- so I can sit at the computer and not have my knee in excruciating pain, so I can write and encourage others in His name. Just as Paul had his thorn in the flesh, people like myself -- sufferers of chronic pain -- have to deal with so much just to make it through the day. Every day is a struggle.

As much as my body hurts, the pain draws me closer to reading the Word and praying to God. Though my body is in bad need of an overhaul, it is no small joy to know that an Upgrade will happen one day. Paul writes in 2nd Corinthians, "Therefore do not lose heart." For people who have accepted Christ as Savior, they have no cause to lose heart, though they have mountains of prescriptions on the countertop and doctor visits every other week. Those Christians do not lose heart, for these broken-down bodies are only rental units. There will be a time when we get to trade them in for a Christ-built Resurrection Body, empty of arthritis, migraines, multiple sclerosis, cancer and depression.

But we can have a bit of the Kingdom here. Despite the hurdles chronic pain can daily through our way, for Christians, there is hope and witness here. Non-Christians watch us closely -- much like Job's friends and wife did. "Curse God and die," they said. When Christians, who have the mind of Christ, live as though they are already test-driving the Resurrection Body, filled with a deep and irrepressible joy that can only come from a relationship with Christ -- they become powerful testimonies that chronic pain is "achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

Second Corinthians 1:3 states, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort." This comfort God provides may come in the form of a get-well card, or a meal provided by a friend -- but it is so much more than that. God IS the Comfort. When we turn our eyes away from the pain and dive into His Word, when we go to Him in prayer for others, when we worship Him in gratitude and love -- He reveals Himself to be much more than the Provider of Comfort. He IS the Comfort.

So what do we fix our eyes on that is unseen? That is Jesus Christ, presenting us with a Resurrection Body, to be able to worship Him on bended knees that don't crack and pop with shooting pain. We fix our eyes on Jesus. We deal with the pain but don't dwell on the pain and we are not defined by the pain. We are defined by Jesus Christ. Who we are in Him is so much more than our earthly bodies can provide.

These are but temporary housing units, shells of what will be received. God promises us as much. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future [Jeremiah 29:11]. The bodies He has planned for us in eternity are so much better than what we can even imagine. Our role, then, until Jesus calls us home, is to not lose heart, to keep our eyes focused on Him, and to live as walking testimonies to His glory, power and comfort.

Peace.

(c) 2012 Terrie McKee

Commission, Promise, Worship

"Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume." [John 12:3 NIV]

Moses climbed Mt. Sinai, only to stumble upon a bush that was on fire but not consumed. He did not encounter a freak act of nature, but had an encounter with The Living God, who promptly told Moses to remove the sandals from his feet for he was standing on holy ground.

God told Moses that He had in fact seen the misery of His people, who were in bondage. "So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt" When Moses, apparently doing a double take, asks the immortal "Why me?" question, God emphatically delivers a Promise and a sign: "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain [Exodus 3:10-12].

Fast forward a few centuries to a similar mountain. Jesus had just risen from the dead, the Victor over death, and was giving last-minute instructions to his disciples: "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age" [Matthew 28:19-20].

The same Commission and the same Promise: Go, share the Gospel message which will deliver people from sin's bondage, and the Promise to be with us always. A bold commission, and an equally bold promise, with a Glorious Sign: the knowledge that Christ is waiting for us, at the end of the age, where we will worship Him unfettered by sin's grasp, where we dare to raise our holy hands in praise of Him and in worship.

Like Mary, Christ-centered Christians are not afraid of what others think. Mary poured the oil over Jesus' feet in an unfettered, unhindered, uncontrolled act of worship. It is only when we have been touched by Christ that the Real Act of Worship can begin. We have to be brought out of Egypt to the Mountain of God in order to appreciate what God has done in our lives: Deliverance. And only then can worship be unhindered, free and centered on Christ. We are then on a mission: to share the Gospel with others. May we pray that we do so with unfettered hearts, praiseful hands, and prayer-bruised knees.

(C) 2012 Terrie McKee