Contentment

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.” 1 Timothy 6:6-8

My husband and I have a large, blended family. His, mine, our’s. I have two boys from my first marriage, husband has a girl by his first marriage, and together we have a precocious, in-to-everything, two-and-a-half year old girl. All this, in a three-bedroom, two-bath, 1200 square feet ranch one-story.

Oh how I dream of a bigger house!

My dream house in on sale right now. Five bedrooms. Family room, formal parlor, formal dining room, playroom, swimming pool, one acre, workshops for the husband’s avid woodworking hobby – even a building outside for a much-coveted depot for model trains. A claw-foot, soaking tub in the master bedroom. And, blessed assurance – an actual, honest-to-goodness laundry room instead of a laundry closet. All this for so much more money than we could possibly obtain via a mortgage loan.

But that doesn’t stop this stay-at-home-mom-of-four from dreaming. In my dreams we host the entire church for a swimming and ice cream social. We host the youth group. We open our doors to the neighborhood for Bible studies. Everyone has their own room and their own space. We have a large Christmas get-together with our respective families. And, in my dreams, I write manuscripts that the nice FedEx man picks up at my door on the way to the publisher. His name is Dave. Ah, the things I could do in this house….

The Lord convicted me one night, though, when I was doing my nightly Bible reading and “happened” across this passage from 1 Timothy: “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that” (6:6-8). Ouch. I had been breaking a Big Ten: covetousness, in my dreams, even as I was not being grateful for the 1,200 square feet of closeness for my family.

In an economy in which so many are losing their homes, I was not being content with what I have: a solid roof over my head (thank you, hail storm 2011 and the subsequent new roof), warmth in the wintertime and coolness in the summer, and food on the table, even if it is rice and beans sometimes.

And, the Lord reminded me, “Why can’t you do Bible studies in your home now?” I reminded the good Lord of the horrible carpet stains (four children, remember, who are all clumsy while walking with sodas and juice), the sofa that has lost all sense of support and also covered in stains (four children), and the tight living room/dining room/kitchen “open floor plan” (which is house code for “if one of those areas are cluttered, the whole room is cluttered”).

Again, the Lord said, “Why can’t you do Bible studies in your home now?” while planting in my brain the understanding that Paul, while writing this passage about contentment to Timothy, was in prison, and not just visiting. Prison trumps stained carpet any day of the week. How dare I remind the good Lord (as though He needed reminding) about the carpet, or sofa, or whatever excuse I could come up with?

So, after asking forgiveness from Jesus about not being content and drooling over The Cottage, as I called my dream home, I’ve been trying to take extra care in cleaning my home, blessing my family, and shining the Light of Christ from inside. I’m planning on opening our doors to other stay-at-home moms in the neighborhood for a Christmas Bible study in the near future. I believe God will bless these actions. Maybe not with a new, larger house. TV home improvement shows may not show up in our driveway with bullhorns and plans to renovate. But He will bless our home with love, with closeness, with food and clothing, and with a laundry closet, instead of a laundry room that would be yet another room to clean. He will bless our home with Himself, which, after all, is the best blessing of all.

© 2012 Terrie McKee